Anal Sex : Tips from experts on how to be kinky yet safe

anal sex

Last Updated November 24th, 2021

Almost half the women are doing it, are you too?

Anal sex, though still largely considered a taboo subject, is gradually gaining wholehearted acceptance across cultures and age groups. Even though vaginal intercourse is still the number one trend since Adam and Eve ate the cursed apple, heterosexual anal intercourse is witnessing a staggering number of internet searches and bedroom participation as well.

This supposedly outrageous kink has taken the young demography, especially by the storm. Studies indicate that over 40% of women between the ages of 20 and 49 have had anal sex. For men, this figure is 40% too; however, the age bracket extends slightly higher to 20 and 59 years.

anal sex

With a global market of $15 billion a year, sex toys are becoming a rage among people across the globe with innovations in the domain of anal penetration and pleasure dominating a major chunk of sales. Historically speaking, people, since the time before the birth of the Christ, have been intrigued by this aberrant sexual concept and have never shied away from getting their hands dirty (pun unintended). Ancient cultures, be it the Greeks or the Peruvians, had routinely considered this practice recreational and even sacred enough to be captured in their various art forms – be it poetry or sculpting.

Coming down to the current day and age, the stigma of anal sex is plummeting at a fairly steady rate. However, there are still a lot of areas remaining untouched with regards to the accurate knowledge and biology behind the whole process and what safety measures need to be followed while getting down with your kinks.

The following are some of the most helpful, science-backed, and guaranteed safety tips one must adhere to if they want to enjoy this very hush-hush, very intriguing sex act.

It all begins with the “the talk”

No, not the awkward “birds and bees” talk your parents and reluctant teachers had with you during yet another outdated version of the mandatory sex-ed lesson.

This is about having a talk with your partner, much before you jump into the act. It is extremely important to understand what your partner considers safe and pleasurable and ask yourself the question, “Do I actually understand how this works?” The next critical area to be very unambiguously clear about is the consent.

Anything which is done outside the premise of right information and consent could very well transform an act of passion and love into psychological and even physical trauma. So, before strapping your seat belts make sure that you and your partner have had the requisite talk and are well-equipped with every technical detail essential to this particular domain.

Let’s bust some myths about anal sex

Safety, confidence, and health come when long-accumulated myths about anal sex are finally busted. Let us take a look at some of the most common misconceptions about anal intercourse and how these could be a major roadblock in terms of safety and pleasure.

  • The biggest anal sex myth of all time is that you don’t need protection. Barrier methods of contraception such as condoms are required for every kind of sexual act – vaginal, oral, or anal. This is because condoms are not just a means to prevent unwanted conception but also the most effective measure against the spread of STIs. Sexually transmitted infections are not limited to vaginal penetration only. Bodily fluids that come in contact with each other due anal sex can also carry infectious agents and thus form an easy path for pathogens to proliferate. So always remember to use condoms for anal sex.
  • Anal sex lubeThe second myth is that you don’t need lubrication. The vagina is a miraculous gift from nature that is well endowed with the ability to self-lubricate itself (most of the times) during sexual intercourse. However, the human anus was not blessed in the same way. Hence, even extended amount of foreplay or insertions of sex toys and fingers are not going to help participants if these are done in the absence of a proper lubricant. Any attempt to progress with anal sex without using a lubricant is inevitably going to result in tears along the anal tissues, not to mention the excruciating pain and bleeding.

Here are some awesome lubes available on Amazon. Our team of editors have reviewed many lubes and have put together the best ones, with amazing reviews, to make your anal sex experience highly pleasurable.

  • The third myth follows from a very logical perspective about anal sex and it says that anal sex cannot result in pregnancy. There is absolutely no doubt that the anatomical paths taken up by partners in vaginal sex and anal sex are completely different. However, there are certain trivialities that could inadvertently result in pregnancy in anal sex. This could happen if you are not using protection and some of the seminal fluid leaks into the vagina. It could also happen if the semen comes in contact with the skin between the anus and the vagina. You would be surprised to know that in 8% of individuals who participate in anal sex without any protection, pregnancy occurs.

Remember these anatomical details

  • Though there are a lot of differences between the vaginal and anal cavity, there is one thing similar between them both and that pertains to how each has muscles that relax and allow penetration. The anal sphincter muscle should relax for anal sex to occur without putting the accepting partner at discomfort. During an initial couple of times, it might not be that accommodating in nature. However, with time and patience, healthy relaxation and dilation of muscles at this point can be made possible. Remember to give it enough time in order to avoid pain and injury.
  • The anal area is not only home to STI bacteria and virus but also to bacteria such as E. coli which normally reside in the rectum and anal cavity. Thus, such bacteria can also spread through cuts in the skin or in the absence of condoms. The chances of spreading infections are much higher if you perform anal sex sans condoms and then switch to vaginal/oral sex (sans condoms).
  • If you have the existing conditions of anal fissures and/or hemorrhoids, practicing anal sex will obviously worsen the condition and cause heightened levels of pain and tears along with the muscles.
  • Let’s go back to the basics again and ask yourself what is the function of the anus? It provides the exit pathway for your bowels. Which means that there are high chances that you might have a brief rendezvous with poop during the process, even if you perform an enema beforehand (more on that later). So, if you think this is something you or your partner cannot handle, then it would be wise to not attempt this in the first place.

Facts on hygiene, care, and protection during anal sex

  • Anal sex condomsThe importance of protection cannot be overstated. And the rule that applies to choose protection is – always use a new condom every time you indulge in intercourse. This alone can provide you protection from a host of life-threatening bacteria and virus including HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus), HPV (Human Papilloma Virus), Hep – A & C virus, and E.coli.
  • The type of lubricant you use during anal sex is of equal importance. Remember to use a water-based lubricant such as K-Y jelly instead of oil-based lubricant since the latter can cause tears along with the condoms. Silicone-based lubricants are even better.
  • Be very particular about the cleanliness of the rectal and anal area. And that the bowels are empty too. The reasons are self-explanatory.
  • The insertive partner has to maintain complete care and should be gentle with thrusting; make the receptive partner comfortable so that both can derive maximum pleasure from the process.
  • Just like for every other bodily limitation, there is an exercise to expand your horizon, for issues in anal sex you can refer to a particular category of exercise to increase your flexibility. Kegels are a boon for those experiencing pelvic muscle issues. If you are finding it tough to hold in your bowels after indulging in anal sex, it would be advisable to follow Kegels exercises to strengthen your sphincter muscles.

Experts and happy participants swear by these helpful tips

Anal sex enema

A little experimentation goes a long way. If you are an anal sex newbie, then starting off with full throttle penile insertion is the worst thing you can opt for. Instead, start slow and with smaller objects such as the fingers and sex toys. Make sure that you and your partner are relaxed. Stimulating other erogenous zones such as the clitoris will help mask the initial pain of anal sex.

Many correctly believe that sex is like a road trip. Going by this definition, anal sex could either be a rollercoaster ride or a heavily trafficked street. Meaning that it could spell disaster for some couples and at the same time open vistas to new adventures for others. It all boils down to being in the right mood, using the right lube, progressing gradually, and always using protection (and not being grossed out by some of the very obvious hiccups along the way).

Fingernails are a big no-no when it comes down to anal sex. You don’t want to hurt your partner with pointed sharp objects in sensitive areas. Neither do you want to exchange millions of pathogens via nails? Ensure that the sex toys that you are using are well sanitized. Even a mild shortcoming in hygiene levels could escalate into massive infections.

Though it is not a strict requirement, if you are still unsure of what unfortunate events might transpire once you engage into anal sex, it would be advised you get an enema. An enema is a process by which fluids are safely injected into the rectum to expel the contents of the rectal area. These are easily available in drug stores. Once you have emptied your bowels and have not eaten anything that might lead to digestive shocks, you are good to go.

It is rightly said that the largest sex organ is the brain. This means yours and your partner’s attitude, mood, and temperament matters a lot when it comes down to intimate activities such as anal sex. Setting the right ambiance and mood and starting off with familiar things will increase your likelihood of attaining higher levels of pleasure. Make sure that both of you have a proper line of communication and any discomfort, be it physical or psychological, should be addressed to.


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